When Leigh Anne asked Colin what kind of cousin he wanted, he didn’t totally understand the question, so she prompted him with baby boy and baby girl as options. Once he got it, he volunteered “baby bear” as a good choice, followed by “big kid like me”. While I was just hoping that it wasn’t twins, now I’ve also added “baby bear” and “big kid” to the list of babies I would just as soon not be incubating in my belly. From the normal realm of possibilities (boy or girl) I am perfectly fine with either.

I very much wanted to find out more about my baby at the ultrasound. I mean, how cool that technology exists that lets you see inside your own skin to learn more about what’s happening with the person growing there. It wasn’t meant to be though– the baby’s umbilical cord was between the legs the entire time, and except for a healthy umbilical cord, nothing else was revealed to us. I was sad for a few days, honestly, and spent some time cursing technology that had built up my expectations and then let me down. I quickly came to realize that it was not the end of the world – especially when I imagined my baby gloating that the baby was already a better feminist that I am, reminding me that I really and truly do not want to get caught up in gender roles and stereotypes, especially for this one person in the world that is my responsibility.

I spent the rest of my pregnancy answering the popular question “So, do you know what you’re having” with the unpopular answer “It’s a baby” or even worse “some sort of human, I hope.”

Here are some of the ultrasound pictures. The technician said “All babies look like aliens at 20 weeks.”